Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Pit of my Heart

I've asked myself :

How much have these unhealed years been in my history?
How much will the inevitable future be?
How much courage can i have afterwards?

We often coalesce these thoughts with the prelude of a relationship.

Scars left behind from the distant past caused me pain again, i hid my shaking heart and replaced it with a smile.While tightening my heart, I think of nothing but the showing of my strength.Although the feeling i want to express emanates, i can never put them into words. No matter how many times it happens, I am still a coward.

Then she was gone, as fleeting and insubstantial as a dream.

Sometimes i try maintaining the pretence of a man charmed against his better judgement.
Sometimes i try to project a friendly figure to others by initiating conversations and most oftenly i get snubbed.(Those that snub me are probably inhibited people who never took on the challenge of overcoming their shyness.)
Sometimes i try bewildering others by acts of perplexity
and mystification.

I break my heart as a precaution.

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