Acid Pour Test

In conjunction with April Fool's Day, here's today's special entry:
Let's say you marry your current girlfriend.

You blatantly say you'll be loyal and faithful to her.
That you love her for everything she is.

Subject: Yes, you've guessed it, your current girlfriend/wife.
Test #1: Acid Pour Test.
Happily coupled/married for two years.
One day, your girlfriend/wife comes back home with acid poured over her face.
Q & A session :
Will you still love her?
"Erm...yes i do."
How do you publically show your affection?
(I'll avoid her in public like she's some kind of disease)
*Fakes a plastic grin*
" I'll love her for EVERYTHING she is ."
We know, all men lie.Just spare us from feeling guilty for no reason.

Test #2: The Past.
Happily coupled/married for two years.
Wife: I had sex with all my previous boyfriends.
Husband: All 3 of them?
Wife: 14 to be precise.
Husband: Well i thought we should be truthful to each other.
Wife: It's the past, besides you haven't met me then.
*snuggles up to husband*
Husband: You've said that we had the best sex together.
Wife: Well i say that to everyone, besides Vincent was so much better.
Husband: ....
Wife: Not to mention Mr. Ivans at the bar.

No man survives these tests. Alright... i was generalizing.There are exceptions.
Your boyfriend is exceptional right?