Looking into the mirror

Lately, I’ve heard people saying I appear to be the serious stan and this was not the case years ago because I was the happy-go-lucky one! I think too much these days, deep stuff too so forgive the quiet appearance. I still know how to have a good time. It just waits to be unleashed at the right moment ;)

Besides what I’ve said so far, I count myself as a good friend, son and boyfriend (when there is a girlfriend!). I love taking care of the people closest to me and I am there for them whenever they need me.

I value and cherish my family very much because they’re the ones that keep me grounded in this crazy world we call life and are the only ones I know will love me unconditionally despite what I do.

I love my close friends because they are wonderful and are my rocks. Through it all, I’m pretty laid back and enjoy every second of life that is thrown at me.

Management 101

I was in my management class, when i heard a joke that was told by a lecturer that was actually funny for the first time ever over the 4 years that i have been in MMU.

The closest joke that was funny being told by a lecturer here was about a cabbage, a goat, a tiger and a man. And that was lame. It was funny tho' because the lecturer can't pronounce cabbage. He pronounced it as 'cabbek'. And that made the crowd roared.

Anyway, back to the first ever funny joke that came out of the lecturer.

George Bush visited Queen Elizabeth in England. George Bush wanted to know how the Queen could manage her subordinates so well. So the Queen rang a bell, and Tony Blair came in.

The Queen: Tony, your parents has a child, it's not your brother or your sister, who is this child?
Tony Blair: It's me!
The Queen: Excellent. You may go.
As Tony Blair went off, President Bush was astonished by the answer.
So he went back to the States to test the question on his subordinates.

So George Bush called in his Defence Minister to come into his office.
George Bush: Your parents has a child, it's not your brother or your sister, who is this child?
Defence Minister: *thinks for a while*. Erm. I'll back to you with the answer.

After a few days, the Defence Minister still couldn't come up with the answer. And one day he bumped into Collin Powell, so he asked him the question that the president had asked him.
Defence Minister: Your parents has a child, it's not your brother or your sister, who is this child?
Collin Powell: It's me!

So the Defence Minister rushed off and went to the Oval Office to meet with the President and said,
Defence Minister: Sir, i got your man. It's Collin Powell.
The president jumped at his answer and yelled at him.
George Bush: No, you idiot, it's Tony Blair!




Okay, this joke was meant for a silent laugh.

To where yachts cruise by

"Welcome to Marina Bay!" says a big brown sign as i cherished my last few precious moments back home before I journey back to the west. This post comes a little late as CK is eager to get his hands on these photos.

^o^

That's about the reaction when I first saw the place. The place is really like Circular Quay in Sydney minus the colors and splendor.


I felt so free like the seagulls that flew alongside the car that we strode in. Cruising down the lanes that felt so free.

Simply breathtaking. After a few short moments with CK. A security officer came and said:" Boss, jangan main sini."
Okay, we weren'y playing. Apparently we were restricted area. By the way, if i were your boss, I'll kick your sorry ass.

I look better than you.

He went out of the picture for a while. After a while, i looked around to check where he was so i could take more pictures.

Boats and more boats.

A large anchor, which reminds me of the cross.

And there he was shaving and patting his dog's ass. Okay that didn't sound natural.
Let me re-phrase that, he was shaving his hair while putting his hand somewhere near his dog's ass. Okay that didn't quite come out right. Look who's playing now huh?

Bustling in they come

I was at my 'morning shrine' today holding up my cup of iced milo, and i saw this freak, 5 feet 6 inches tall i tell you, flipping through a booklet provided by the University. Like a lost lost sad sheep.

Sheesh! They are so many people. Nerve wrecking little bunch of them. I came to this conclusion cos' they came in the library like they needed air-conditioning so badly, like they would die without it.

Stop bumping into me! Maybe that's why i came up with a prejudment of them.

Into the library they come when they should just bake out in the sun or something.
Flooding walk ways of every kind, staggering around without a direction
Most of them look like geeks and looked lost. *Mek*

Okay, sherpherd is here to guild you about .
"Get out of the library and stop bumping into people !"

Maybe I'm becoming detached from them, that's why i think of it that way.
Last year's bunch was great! Why is it so different this time?
I recall I didn't look that dumb when i first came in either.

A new word a day

Pannasmontata means 'Italian baked cream'

The other day i was at Patisfrance and saw a type of ice cream called Pannasmontata which was explained as italian baked cream in brackets.

I found the name quite intriguing cos' it's the layout design or blog template i use is by Pannasmontata

I knew i was back

Bus conductor: Mana tiket? (Where's your ticket?)
Me: *shows him the bus ticket*
Bus conductor: Mana tiket yang satu lagi ( Where's the other one?)
From his facial expression he thinks that i haven't paid the fare.
Me: Ini saja yang ada. Tadi sudah bayar. (This is the only ticket I have. I've paid already.)
Bus conductor: Pergi bayar kat driver sana! Bayar satu lagi! (Pay the other one at the driver)
Me: I already paid! *looking at him with sharp eyes*

I think the guy beside me paused momentarily to absorb the impact of the shock.
I proceed to look away from the bus conductor and he moves along.

The truth is the driver issues two tickets and didn't bothered to issue two tickets for me, since it didn't made any sense. I only knew they were two tickets issued when passengers that board the bus later had two tickets. Since i board the bus early.

The rudeness felt familiar, I knew then I was heading back to the life and starting the life that i knew so well.

A new facelift

To-do-list #2:
Give your blog a new template.

I've done my template for finding-tryst ® last year on 27 May 2005.

Now it looks better. Tho' it takes time to get used to .

Thank God

Oh my God! I'm so excited that i can't contain myself! It almost felt like an orgasm.
I passed all my subjects this trimester!

Thank you Lord! For giving me that extra edge and instilling effort in me to study very hard for this trimester. Something that i haven't done in a long time.

Good start for the next trimester.

Picture tells countless words

I've flipped through many photo albums over the days back home. The images from the photos just shot straight into my senses into that old forgotten data bank located at the back of my mind.

There's a picture of Wen dancing for Curtin University Orientation Nite 2002, in a pose that she looked like a hot diva packed with her moves. I remember now, why i started dancing in the first place. I was truly inspired back then. She was also a benchmark of all girlfriends. Tall, slim and hot. Epitomes of an ideal girlfriend.

Some pictures totally paralyses me for moments i stared at it. There's loads of picture of me, Dennis, Wen and Sze Ni. We used to hang out back then. Pictures of me shyly taken with Sze Ni. Back then i kinda fancied Sze Ni. But months down the line Wen became my girlfriend.
Talking about chasing her best friend huh?

Can't believed that at one time, long long time ago, i was always hanging out with hotties.
I saw this picture of me and Sze Ni leaning back to back wiping "an invisible window", mimicking a popular Korean series back then, Autumn in my Heart?

I wanted to write all this as a recollection of my memories. I know as i write all this, it will be one of my last recollections of the past. It's like watching a fireworks display. It's always the same. It is not like I've never seen fireworks during Chinese New Year eve before. They are the same last this year as they are last year and the year before that and the year before that. But for reasons I cannot explain, something felt different that night while looking at those pictures...even though it all looked the same. For that brief moment of stolen time in my adult life, I was a child again. I felt the excitement of it. I guess that's how crushes felt like too.

One day i will forget that feeling.

Walking down memory lane

Intimidated by kids, I ran and ran. Even old aunties are faster than me. I was jogging down the lanes that i grew so familiar with. I used to come here for jogs years back with Wen and Sze Ni.

Of course i had to increase my pace. I had to use some kind of motivation. I thought about it for a while. Why not catching up to girls. Yeah. And just to lap them over and over again.

Here i was basking under the mild sun while walking in Bulatan Park. It's a park built around a lake. The park is kinda large and the track that stretched over perimeter of the lake was long. If the lake was small ,they wouldn't have built the park in the first place anyway.

One girl on a bike is kinda cute. another looked like my ex from behind. I lapped her but didn't had the guts to look her in the face. I was busy jogging anyway. I ran the whole course, just to lap her again. Didn't bothered looking. But her voice sounded familiar. Still didn't look.

If i don't look i would regret it. I was expecting some other girl's face. During the third time i lapped her on the track, i turned and looked. I froze. It's her. I said 'Hi'. Somehow Leil Lowndes tips on conversation didn't work.
"if you don't say a word. you'll regret it" a voice inside of me said.
I'm not sure i'm going to see her again after that. So i initiated conversation. Little men inside my head started operating. One of the men switched on the auto pilot. And my body and lips worked by themselves. I didn't know what i was talking, but i talked and talked. No wonder her voice seem familiar we spoke over the phone days before.

Nice conversation i thought. And i was like just listening to my own voice and didn't knew what i was talking. But it was a good one. Past love paralyzes us from reality. Ironically we met here.

Finally, her friends wanted to cross a bridge that stretched across the lake. She followed. We said our awkward goodbyes. "Bye. Yi Lu Shun Fong"
I walked down the other path. After a while, i turned a look. She and her friends were walking over the bridge. " Goodbye Wen" i said.

unfocused thoughts

I'm feeling bored. Being in a computer lab don't feel that great either. CK is beside me in the lab.
3 days into my holidays back home, I'm already feeling bored of it. Well not that I've met all my friends and really went shopping or sight seeing or anything. Not that is boring or anything. I attended my first wedding yesterday. Really ceremonious, sweet and romantic.

Since I'm online now. I'll do something rather than my 'check email only' routine. Browsing through friendster by the way is sick. So i don't do that shit. People that browse through friendster is sick. If i was to browse through. People i meet mostly came with names like Siew siew or xin xin or hui yin or duffus. Mostly la la names. The ah beng's names would be like ah beng , ah seng, mike, eric, KNS or something near to it, like KNNCCB.

To-do-list #1:
Create a fictional character

Perferably female, if you're bored you could shag her in your bedroom later.

Names like Jess or Evelyn won't work. It doesn't bring out THAT character i want. She has to be more like me.
I'm thinking..hmmm.. Vans.
Yes that would do. It has a nice ring to it too.You have to say it while raising your right eyebrow.

---

We were having our online chatting session in the very same computer lab. I look across to her. She looks as though she doesn't know me or she's too busy to look up. I would never know for sure. She always has this mysterious outlook while firing away on the keyboard whilst chatting to me. Conversation we have were usually rapid. Rapid unrelated topic changes usually end up with something interesting worth talking about.

---

She looked up finally with her bright eyes, slightly squinting them to act all philosophical and stuff. Beckoning me to go off for movies or shopping.
Anyway, Vannessa M. Tang (Vans) and I are good buddies. She has to be chinese, so her surname is Tang.
She is my alter ego during waits and idleness. And M. stands for Middle-name.


I find that talking a fictitious character more interesting than talking to a real person.

Sometimes I use Vans to live my dreams... sometimes I use her to bounce off thoughts and ideas. In this case, I use her to replace the real person who I shared this outting with.
---

More coming soon...
Next episode: To-do-list #2

Going home

His innocent eyes looked into mine, I look away in fear he saw the evil in my eyes. I work up a smile then looked to the food set before me. His innocence is intense. I shy away.

I looked , gazed upon the horizon, in attempt to escape his gaze. Beyond the reaches of my sight, i see, of mostly ugly people. Occasionally of beautiful ones, but stil mostly ugly.

From my seat, i stared at the arrivals/departures board with red displays. My flight is rescheduled. I fly in 3 hours.

Interestingly, a married couple fights drawing the highlight of the airport. Something about their baby. Screamed the woman that looked like a slut went. The man marched off with their baby. Weee..weee..weee.. the woman went on and on.

Between the hours i waited. Again glancing away at the ugly people that pushes their trollies or at people pulling their luggage. Sometimes oogling at beauties in their well curved jeans.
That's about it that happens here.

Finding 'that' tryst

What if one day, we put down all our feelings and attachments to our better half, all the memories and all the chemistry that bonds us in the first place,would we stil be able to say you love him/her?
Some might hold on and say yes they love you because:
They are insecure.
They are possessive.
They are overzealous.

The heart is always true, we all can't sense soemthing amidst when something has happened. That tiny whisper always tells you your coinscience, what's true and what's not.

I'm always a great believer of love,love compels us to real sacrifices not blind ones. If you don't love someone, don't drg on. It's nothing to do with responsibility. If that circle can't fit your square, find your square.
I'm willing to take great leaps cause I know, I have it in my hands. It's not a choice for others to make.

If you can't sort out your life, don't love.

Throne of the Prince

I'm striving to achieve my former glory. I really don't know what to put down in words, but i'm sure of my actions. Some things in life doesn't need much explanation and all this are just spontaneous thoughts running through. Everyone has a tale to tell, and through this journey, I've met very interesting people , and some rotten ones that spook around their speech. Today I've met a kin, the philosopher. It felt like mental intercourse. But in some sense, it was rape. The philosopher really reminded me of many things of myself in the past, and left me awe-struck.

I know what I have to do and I know where it will lead me. I've always analyze my actions but I miss out some key elements and finding myself taking it back. You can be driven but is that really you? I'm out on that run to find out. I'm struck on every cord.

I hope you hear from my best friends on my ideals and thoughts on this. Although sometimes I'm not sure it was necessary to say all this. I know that I will find comfort in whatever they have to say on this. I really want to hear from Deb. She'll tell me things that comforts me. I'm out in this world to Live by your own Light and Shine by your own Star.

And from CK. How even though we are so busy with our things, he still have his way to show his concerns. " Follow your heart," he would say. Something that I could easily said to myself, but it has to come from someone who cared like him, to give this wake up call.

I guess this would be a good time to mention about some other friends that unravel out of the unclear. Kim for you to ever show your over enthusiasm in my personal life. She always reminds me how fucked up this world is and still has the air about it that everything will be fine eventually. These people has exemplified the true friendship and life changing lessons. Friendship ain't objective.

All this has reminded me, what changed me in the first place. It was genuine kindness. I driven me to think what I really wanted in the first place. I want to change the world for them. Closer to reality, I might pull it off by changing lives instead of the world. It's so much more personal and rewarding.

Mong Yen really spells things right and put some fire in the belly for me today. I'm motivated and inspired.I'm impress with the level of integrity. What you truly want in life? Or are we all masked behind it all. You really made it clear of in your own way, your philosophy. Stay true to your principles. Highly opinionated.
Many could have be drawn to you by benefits possessed by you and shone away those who had less. Benefits such as material , personality tracing, the FUN-factor(being around people that are happening).
Some people might be close to others to learn things and be self absorbed in the whole experience frenzy. Hey this ain't a game, don't kill for experience. It's life.

I've so many to say, but I can't put it clearly in words. Maybe that's just what's being male all about. Lesser intellectuality in words. Speaking of which reminds me of Hui Mei how she have her good play with words still leaves me truly mused.HAH. Many of us used and are used back, in some cases- strong friendship are spawned.

All this talking also leads me to be reminded of the mental masturbating( sorry it's 430am and i cant think of a better objective excuse) Teck Houng that fills me with good thoughts.Keep it up with your good writing, and pay me endorsement fees for praising you like hell. Back to what I was initially saying.

Everytime I speak of best friends. Hilda always seems to be not in the family portrait anymore. Gaining back the friendship I once hold so true, but people grow out of friendship sometimes. I will always remember her. I really want to reach out to speak to her. But I don't regret having less initiative in putting effort into it, in life there's no time to regret. We cherished and laugh and we cried. It was happy. Always will be in my memory as one of the greatest.

And of course not to forget the enormous emotional support from Arina, at times it seems so dark, you've shown the light. I'm ever grateful. Overwhelming support although sometimes kept silent in fear of causing disturbance. I welcome disturbance. Send it those smses and calls and don't be afraid to show it. Cos it matters to me. You are important to me.

I just want to express to these people that they really molded and shaped me. I want to tell the world. "Remember your friends." Everyone deserves friendship. Have a heart for another.

A short moment with Self

Short talk: It's funny how I can make people have favourite things in their lives.

I've came so far, but I'm stil where I am. Stil at my origin, my priciples. Recent days have brought me to ponder. Sometimes of the wickedness of people; sometimes on the appreciation of life.

It's like the series Lost. The main core of the story revolves around a basic principle. No it's not about some stranded people swabbling around on some damned island. Well kinda. Which brings me to the point that it actually portrays a principle-the act of survival in which every man(or woman) it's in for himself. We don't do things without a purpose.

For instance, The black man didn't want to guard the mine if it didn't had fire arms in the cabin,cause he wanted to use the weapons to save his son. Or did the wounded needed to follow the doctor around. The intentions are obvious.

- This is my reflection when i saw one episode in LOST

Windy's Birthday Bash

At Oasis Cafe. Singing "Peng You-Guang Liang Ping Guan" with Bun Ken.

Group photo. 'Kacao b'day girl n boy' pose.



Rainy and me.


Again... Where's the rest of my pictures!!!

Group photo. 'Zheng Jing' pose.

Maybe it was last time

嘴里说的语言完全没有欺骗
屋顶灰色瓦片安静的画面
灯火是你美丽那张脸
终于找到所有流浪的终点
你的微笑就输了疲倦


千万不要说天长地久
免的你觉的我不切实际
想多么简单就多么简单
是妈妈告诉我的哲理
脑袋都是你心里都是你
小小的爱在那城里好甜蜜
念的都是你全部都是你


那一种寸步不离的感觉
我知道就叫做缘

Mungkin nanti

Maybe next time she will be coming back, when she realised it.
But that's false hope, like a fleeting dream, broken by the wake of dawn.

Those are one of the hardest words.

保重。。。
(我们还是朋友，只是普通朋友)
至少我们 正经拥有过。。。
(我会珍惜往年那时刻)
再见。。。
(还有以后吗?- Mungkin nanti?)

Stan's Theory

Just a thought if 100Kgs of rock and 100kgs of cotton is dropped from the same height, isn't the force the same?

Then why is 500 grams of cotton and 500 grams of rock dropped on ones head. The cotton will have less of a impact than of a rock when both material have the same weight.

Dammit Newton!

Round I

Some pictures from my Round I birthday party.